Declare your Shapewear

I’ve mentioned in a few of my previous posts that my current size (about a size 18) is a relatively new thing. I have been big for a while, and have been gradually putting on weight, but its been the last year or so that I have truly started feeling plus size, and noticing my weight get in the way of what I’m wearing.

So I’m quite new and naïve. I’ve found myself really frustrated after buying clothes that look beautiful and flattering on websites but which end up looking lumpy, frumpy and generally horrendous on me. I started blaming myself for being not just plus sized, but a weird freakish, particularly ugly plus size. Buying a pretty dress should make me happy, but instead I have found myself feeling even worse on occasion.

Then I started looking behind the scenes a bit. I started reading a few plus size blogs, seeing how others do it. And what I found was a whole lot of shapewear. Now this isn’t something that I’ve ever really come across before, and it can be pretty confusing. There’s a lot of good reviews and explanations out there, and I’ve found them really helpful. I’ve picked up a few bits and pieces for reasonable prices at TK Maxx, and am in the process of learning how to wear them.

So it turns out it isn’t just me, and I don’t have a freakishly awful body- there’s just a lot of shapewear going on underneath those pretty dresses. Maybe many would say “Well that’s obvious!” but it certainly wasn’t obvious to me, and I wonder how many others have had the same problems, the same feelings of inadequacy because of it.

I have no problem with the shapewear itself, or models wearing it. But I feel uncomfortable about how many websites are using images with undeclared shapewear. My hypothesis is that it’s the plus size equivalent of airbrushing- it makes us believe that we are less worthy because our bodies can’t conform to the imagery we are presented with as natural. The plus size fashion world promotes itself as body positive, as all about accepting and loving your body, yet this sort of thing only serves to make some of us feel worse about our curves.

I’ll give you a specific example. I’m choosing this one just because I’ve come across it lately. Everyone is raving about the Lady Voluptuous range of dresses. I’ve blogged about my own Lyra dress, and I’m waiting for my Medusa to be delivered. I’m excited about this range of clothing, because their sizing tends to be brilliant and their clothes are great quality. In the pictures, Georginafrom Fuller Figure Fuller Bust looks really amazing, with a perfect hourglass figure. Just look at hertiny waist and smooth lines. The expectation is that I could chuck on one of those dresses and I should look just like that.

On her own blog, however, it is mentioned how she is corseted up for the photo shoot. To her credit, she does tend to be clear about what shapewear she is wearing on her blog, but that’s a good few clicks away from the page selling the dresses themselves, and probably wouldn’t be found by a casual buyer. In a follow up post about the Bellatrix dress, Georgina says:

“You don’t need to be ‘brave’ or ‘confident’ to put a beautiful dress on your body, you just need two things – the body, and the dress.”

But then in the very next line goes on to state that she’s wearing a £159.00 corset! So really, the implication is that we don’t just need two things- we need the body, the dress, and the uncomfortable, impractical, extremely expensive corsetry too. This isn’t a reflection on Georginaspecifically, or the dresses, which I do think are great- I just think it is indicative of a lot of the plus size fashion culture.

Perhaps I’m the only person bothered by this, but it feels like a real problem. Its one of the things that prompted me to write this blog in the first place. I think honesty is a much better option, so I shall always let you know what shapewear I’m wearing in my outfit posts. 

An ode to suffragettes.

International Women's Day was last weekend, and I thought I'd use it as an excuse to treat myself to a new dress. Perhaps not the most feminist of ways to celebrate the day, but ultimately the only reason I can't afford pretty things is because of my career as a pharmacist, which I would never have been able to achieve were it not for feminism in the first place.

I was thinking about how I could wear something symbolic, so I went for an outfit in the colours of the suffragettes. 

Their livery was a nice combination of green for hope, purple for dignity, and white for purity. 

Here's my interpretation: 

Dress: Lyra by Lady Voluptuous

Cardigan: Collectif

Hair flower: no idea, I've had it for ages. 

This is the first time I've ordered anything from Collectif. Its a nicely made cardigan, though I feel a bit wary about how to wear it as it is one of those pieces that looks cool and trendy with some pieces but dowdy and old-lady like in others. I can't do it up over my bust, but it fits fine as an open cardigan. It has old fashioned pearly buttons, which are either cool or not, depending on which way you look at it. 

Having seen so many reviews and so much excitement about the Lady Voluptuous dresses, I was excited to eventually get it home after missing the delivery. Its a good heavy fabric, so it hangs really nicely. Its very forgiving, so I didn't have to don any uncomfortable shapewear or anything underneath.

I'd just have one little gripe with my Lyra. The waistband didn't quite sit in the right place. Problem is, because of the ties at the back, its hard to pop a belt on over the top. The colour is really beautiful and bold.

Another really nice touch is the sleeves. They are cleverly attached onto the dress, sort of like a false sleeve, which leaves plenty of room and ventilation, so I didn't have to worry about sweatmarks too much.

Overall rating:

Forgiving nature: 5/5
Cleavage revealing: 4.5/5
Sweaty Betty: 4/5
Toilet Ease (sober): 5/5
Toilet Ease (drunk): not tested. Expected 5/5
Risk of Chafage: depends.

The Hunt For Plus Size Yoga Wear

I’m terrible at any sort of fitness that requires quick movement. Even without being terribly unfit, I am extremely unco-ordinated, like a Great Dane puppy that thinks it’s the same size as a Jack Russell and can’t quite understand why its legs won’t do what it wants it too. I’m also acutely embarrassed by how unfit I am, and am most definitely not a pretty exerciser. I don’t have a quirkily bobbing ponytail and a healthy pink sheen. I just end up looking like a tomato cosplaying as a sweaty scarecrow.

And so it is that I have been avoiding exercise classes for ages. Yoga is a pretty good type of exercise for me, as its not usually so much about moving quickly, and in its different forms it can be either super relaxing or actually quite difficult. I’ve recently been lucky enough to find two fantastic and patient yoga teachers (Jo Hutton of Happy Yoga, and Francina Connelly of Yoganesha), and I’m hoping to get into some sort of a routine mix of the two which means that I can also have plenty of down time after work too.  

My current favourite yoga pants. 

Whilst I’ve been really enjoying the classes, I find that there are two main problems for me.

1. Bulk getting in the way

I’ve done yoga classes in the past, but this time, because I’ve put on so much weight, I’m finding this a real problem. It’s bad enough being conscious of being the Fattest Person There, but it’s a whole other thing when you just can’t manage poses because there is too much flesh in the way. I found it initially confusing, thinking to myself ‘why? Why is this not working like it is for other people?’, as well as crushingly embarrassing. It sounds stupid, but sometimes if a pose isn’t working because of weight, its actually really hard to work out how to rectify it, and of course you don’t really want to stop the class and bawl “Oi, me arse is in the way of me pigeon pose, what do I do about it?!” across the room.

Then I found the Body Positive Yoga website, and that’s really changed things for me. It’s a big bright box of joy for me, as it has made me realise that the sort of problems I’m having aren’t just limited to me being rubbish. There’s lots of super helpful tips and videos on how to adjust poses to take boobs and other jiggly bits into account. I’ve found it really super helpful. Another great thing to do, although it sounds weird, is to check out some pregnancy yoga videos online. Jo from Happy Yoga does some brilliant ones, all for free. 

2. Finding some pretty yoga clothes that actually fit.

I’m a fickle person. When it comes to exercise, my willpower fails me constantly, but it can be over ridden by things like having a nice new outfit to wear.

So it is then that a scrappy pair of old leggings and a scrabbled together vest top and long sleeved top just wont cut the mustard any more. I need a selection of lovely outfits to go to yoga in.

But blimey Charlie it is disheartening trying to find decent outfits in my size for a decent price in the UK.  Sure, there’s websites like State of Mind (actually that’s pretty much the only one I could find), but they can be kind of expensive- this cami top that I’ve got my eye on is £40. I’m not destitute by any means, but I’m also not made of money, and I have to reel in my spending if I want any chance of a holiday this year.

So here’s my current holy grail of yoga wear that I am on the hunt for:

·        Leggings or cropped pants: colourful ones, in gorgeous pretty prints, with a high waist. Made of a fairly lightweight fabric suitable for sports, but that don’t feel horrible on days when you haven’t had time to shave your legs.

·        Vest tops: In dark colours that don’t show up sweat too much. Baggy enough to not terrify other people with my wobbly bits but tight enough to stay in place if I’m upside down. Low cut enough to not make me have monoboob, but not too low so as to be burlesque worthy when upside down. Long enough to not ride up.

·        A Good Sports Bra: One that actually fits and doesn’t have bits of boob splurging out to the side. Also one that doesn’t require a magical person sized shoe horn to get on.

·        Long to three quarter length sleeved tops: In dark colours that don’t show up sweat too much.  Again, not too baggy so as to suffocate me when upside down.

·        Some sort of hoodie/ zippy up top.

I managed to get a nice pair of monochrome patterned leggings in Matalan, for about £12, and they’ve become my standard yoga wear at the moment, but I need variety, both for motivation and because I am often highly disorganised when it comes to laundry. I tried one of Matalan’s layering yoga tops, though that was an outright disaster- oversized is not a good plan when you spend most of your time in downward dog.

My teacher Francina pointed me to H&M plus size activewear section. They seem to have some lovely stuff, and its reasonably priced, though a lot of it is currently out of stock. Once I’ve got my paws on some of their pieces, I shall let you know what they turn out like.

I’m also giving Fabletics a go. They’re expensive, but I got the first month’s outfit for £26, so that seemed worth a try. Now to wait for it all to be delivered…

I’ve always found it befuddling that there is such a lack of general plus size fitness wear out there. If you have any suggestions for me, do let me know.

Foxy Finds

As well as flamingoes and of course cats, I also love foxes. They're my spirit animal I guess. Well, specifically this particular fox:

I'm known to some as "Derpy fox", a name which I think suits me rather well.

I thought that I'd therefore show you a few of my foxy fashion treasures.

First up is some items very close to my heart. A good while ago, a friend of mine held a fabulous housewarming party for which the theme was noah's ark crossed with the roaring twenties. There were already flamingoes going, so I decided to be a red fox with the help of etsy. I bought this beautiful mask and tail combo from a lovely shop called Opposite of Far. Sadly Jessica (her surname is Near, hence the gorgeous name of the shop) doesn't seem to be selling anything at the moment, but if you're after a nice handmade mask, I'd highly recommend her. She was super helpful with all the questions I had- I was worried that the ribbon on the tail might be too small for my massive hips, and she was so sweet and reassuring, and can even change the colour to go with the dress that you're wearing.

The mask has sort of become a signature piece of mine as I use it as my Twitter avatar on my Super Sekrit account. 

Next up is my slightly gruesome, though rather cute scarf. 

That colour scheme sort of makes it look like our poor vulpine friend has been squished. But I loved him so much when I saw him that I had a minor fight to grab him in a John Lewis sale. 

I've made some really wonderful friends through Twitter over the years, one of whom is the truly wonderful @Jackpot73. She was kind enough to send me a super special present the other day.

It's a beautiful little ginger glass fox necklace. It's so cute and stylised, I love it to bits. This might sound weird, but because its glass it's also very tactile. I have a habit of playing with my jewellery a lot, and I just love the feel of this- its sort of comforting. I love that she saw this and thought of me- she's such a good friend, and I can always rely on her to bring a ray of sunshine into my life whenever we chat :)

Finally, we recently moved and bought a new bed. And of course no bed is complete without a lovely new duvet cover. When I saw this Mr Fox bedding set from Scion, I just knew I had to have it. 

I've also very sadly just thrown out my Little Miss Sew fox cardigan. I've had it for years and it never quite fitted right, but since I've put so much weight on lately it was just getting depressing, so unfortunately it had to go. It was super cute in its day though, even if the fox was a little evil looking. 

A Sunday Stroll

I have a severe over-reliance on jeans for pretty much all daily activities except for work and nights out. I'm therefore trying to make a concerted effort to vary what I wear and to stop being such a scruff all the time. I guess that with all of this extra weight right now, I'm starting to not feel that comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt.

So today I decided to wear a dress for a nice Sunday Stroll through the park, even though it is only Saturday. Honestly, I've been convinced all day that it's Sunday.  

There I am, waving at you. Simon the cat decided to put in a little appearance too. 

Dress: Club L#

Belt: Goodness only knows, Its the tie from some other top that is probably by now long forgotten.

Tights: Primarni

Shoes: New Look, with pink laces from a Kawaii Box.

Disclaimer: I am wearing shapewear under this dress, so I have a much smoother silhouette than I would usually. I've had this dress for ages, but I very rarely wear it because it is so unforgiving. Its also actually quite see-through- bra outlines and patterns are quite clearly visible through it, though I'm not convinced that's a totally bad thing. Shapewear is a new area for me, and I'll be talking more about it in future posts. The contraption I've been wearing today is actually quite comfortable, and I do feel miles better in it. It hasn't rolled up or down too embarrassingly, but my goodness it's a right faff on whenever one needs a tinkle. 

I put a bit of effort into my hair today, trying a little quiff and scarf combo. Normally these are things that I like the sound of in theory but in reality they don't tend to work too well. Whenever I try to do a decent quiff thing I usually chicken out and end up brushing it out, but today I went for it and even got a compliment on it. 

Its been very cold and pretty breezy out there, so lets check how this hair is getting on after today's excursion. 

Hmmm, its actually not too bad, A good few strands out and about, and the quiffy bit has drooped a bit, but it could be worse. My makeup hasn't fared quite so well, but it never does. 

Post the first

Well hello there.

Today's post is about the picture that gave me this daft blog idea in the first place.

I've been getting quite interested in vintage sort of styles of late. But given I'm a decent size 18 nowadays, and I have a rather ample bosom, there have been a good few false starts in the past. I've ordered countless dresses and pretty things online, only to excitedly unwrap them and find out that I have no hope in hell of even getting one boob into the space designed for two. Either that, or I try on the wiggle dress that looked so sleek and elegant on the plus size model, only to find that I have fleshy splurgy bits poking out all over the place in a horrific manner. Luckily, I seem to have found a good, reliable source of lovely dresses in Lady Vintage, who just yesterday fleshed out their plus size offerings with the launch of Lady Voluptuous. 

So last Sunday, the sun was shining, and I was waiting for my parents to turn up to go for Sunday lunch at our new local. This is not a dressy pub by any means, but I just felt like putting some effort in and whipping out a pretty dress for the day.

I popped on my navy blue spotted Isabella dress. It fits beautifully, with that lovely flattering neckline. I reached for the nearest cardi, which happened to be red, and paired it with my little thin Asos Curve belt. I felt pretty swanky, if I'm honest, especially after applying some rarely used red lippy. So swanky, that I thought I'd be brave enough to take a picture of myself and let Lady V know.

Swallows Necklace: etsy, yonks ago

Cardigan: Uniqlo, even longer ago

Belt: Asos Curve

Dress: Lady Vintage

Tights: Primarni's finest, with a hole at the top of the thigh for good measure

Shoes: Marc Jacobs (courtesy of boyfriend, who is blooming marvellous and aware of the importance of animal shaped shoes.)

It got a whole load more likes than expected, and a couple of nice comments too. So I guess maybe there are a few of you out there who care about what I'm wearing every now and then :) 

I noticed after I had posted my photo how dowdy it looks in comparison to some of the others that people post. Posed girls, with perfectly quaffed victory rolls, tasteful photo backgrounds, and accessories styled to perfection abound. I, however, have a shoddily taken selfie with an ancient, horrible old lady headboard in the background that has since been gotten rid of.  They look fabulous, and they make me envious, but I can't help but wonder if there isn't more of an interest in more...normal, day to day women. So here I am, ready and willing to fill that less glamorous, more pragmatic gap in the blog market. I'm here for the women who are ten minutes late for work and whose cardigan that matches perfectly with their outfit is still in the wash. The people whose skirts ride up uncomfortably, whose make-up is trashed by the time they get to the bus stop, never mind arriving at the party, they're my type of fashion icons. 

See you again soon

Hxxx